In God We Trust

Empress Hillary Lies Again... and Again... and Again

 

By Dr. Donald W. Hendon
DonaldHendon.com

That power-mad couple, Horrible Hillary and Horny Bill, were talking about Hillary’s latest Presidential campaign.

Bill: I’m sure glad you’ve finally thrown your padded brassiere into the ring and are running for President. I want to get back to 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue. I sure miss our White House years. Where else could a dumb hillbilly like me do absolutely nothing but screw interns, lie about it, and still be treated like an emperor for 8 long years?

Hillary: Hey, we’re still treated like emperors. We both get $300,000 whenever we give a talk. The dumb people out there are so celebrity-mad, they’re even paying $500,000 to have dinner with Ted Cruz and his wife Heidi at their home in Houston.

Bill: We can’t get that much money. You’re a lousy crook…I mean, you’re a lousy cook.

Bill thinks to himself: She’s a lousy crook and a lousy cook, too. I’m just a lousy crook. I know how to scramble eggs…Hillary can’t even do that! Monica was a damn good cook…almost as good as Gennifer Flowers, but not as good as Paula Jones.

Bill breaks into an evil grin. Hillary knows that evil grin. It’s the one he uses whenever he thinks of his old girl friends.

Hillary: I know what you’re thinking, you silly hillbilly. About Monica and your other bimbos. Hey, no more screwing around when we get back to the White House. I’ll toss you out on your ass if I catch you messing around, divorce you, and take all your money. The only thing you’ll be able to do is to become a motivational speaker at old-age homes and tell the old guys there how to get young chicks. And when you die, I’ll tip over your tombstone, just like they did to my grandfather’s tombstone.

Bill: You wouldn’t do that! You’re lying to me—just like you lied to the news media. You lie so much that you’re the only first lady in US history to be fingerprinted by the FBI. (Note: Source: truthrevolt.org/videos/ben-shapiro-hillary-clinton-lies-lot) Let me remind you of some of your lies: 

·         You weren’t named after Sir Edmund Hillary, the guy who first climbed Mount Everest. He did it in 1953, 5-1/2 years after you were born in 1947.)

·         You said when you got off your plane in Tuzla, Bosnia in 2008, snipers were firing at you. We both know that didn’t happen.

·         You said when we booked 110 rooms at the Europa Hotel in Belfast, Northern Ireland, in 1995, it was under renovations for bomb damage. Bullshit. The Irish Republican Army fired a few rockets at it in 1993, and it was repaired a couple of months later in January 1994.

Hillary: Yeah, what difference does it make?

Bill: And you said Chelsea was jogging around the World Trade Center on Sept. 11, 2001. More bullshit! She was asleep in a friend’s apartment four miles from Ground Zero when the World Trade Center was attacked. She watched everything that day on her friend’s TV.

Hillary sticks her tongue out at Bill and says: You’re a bigger liar than I am. When you were impeached in 1998, you said under oath that you didn’t have sex with Monica and didn’t know the definition of the word is.

Horny Bill ignores her and keeps talking: And you said we were dead broke in 2001 when we left the White House. But we owned two expensive houses, and we already had a hell of a lot of  speaking engagements lined up for the rest of the year. We made $12 million that year.

Hillary: Once again, what difference does it make?

Bill: Well, it made a big difference back in 1974. That’s when Jerry Zeifman fired you from the Watergate investigation. You were 27 and a lawyer on his staff. He said you lied to him many times and were engaged in “a variety of self-serving, unethical practices in violation of House rules.” And  someday, all this will backfire on you—and me. You’re an habitual liar. A couple of days ago, you said all four of your grandparents were immigrants. Hell, only Hugh Rodham, your grandfather, was an immigrant.

Then Bill changes the subject. He says:

And you’re a cheapskate, too! When you went to the Chipotle fast food restaurant in Maumee, Ohio, earlier this week, you didn’t even put money in the tip jar. In fact, you made Huma Abedin, Anthony Weiner’s wife and your campaign vice chairman, pay for everything. And you’re spending too much time with her. I know you’re bisexual. Are you messing around with her?

Hillary sticks her tongue out at Bill and replies: That’s for me to know and for you to find out. Anyway, what difference does it make?

Bill is so disgusted, he runs out of the room. He comes back in a couple of minutes with a Hillary T-shirt. It has her new campaign logo on it—the blocky blue H with a horizontal red arrow running through it. It looks like a road sign pointing to a hospital. He thinks, “The arrow points to the right instead of to the left…hmmm, maybe Hillary’s secretly a right-winger.” In front of Hillary, he takes out a marking pen and writes at the top, “I’m with stupid.” He puts on the T-shirt backwards, turns around so she can see the T-shirt, moons her, farts, and leaves before she can throw the book she’d been reading, at him. (The book is Donald Hendon’s best-seller, Fractured Fairy Tales: Political Monkey Business.)

Copyright (c) 2015 by Dr. Donald Wayne Hendon


 

Dr. Donald Wayne Hendon is a consultant, speaker, trainer, and author of 14 books, including Fractured Fairy Tales, published last year by Spectrum Books. Look for it on Amazon.com and Barnes & Noble—and at other book stores. He’s also written several business books, including The Way of the Warrior in Business, Guerrilla Deal-Making (with Jay Conrad Levinson) and 365 Powerful Ways to Influence. Jay Levinson recently passed away. He specifically chose Don to be his final co-author—the person most qualified to  carry the torch of guerrilla marketing into the 21st century. Deal-Making contains the 100 most powerful tactics from 365 Powerful Ways—along with 400 winning countermeasures. There are 121 aggressive tactics, 92 defensive ones, 24 cooperative ones, and 16 submissive ones to get what you want from other people. Plus 81 dirty tricks to watch out for and 31 tactics to prepare you for your interaction with them. Don’s website is DonaldWayneHendon.com. His Facebook page is DonWHendon.