NEW PREAMBLE TO
THE CONSTITUTION
"We the sensible people of the United States, in an attempt to help everyone
get along, restore some semblance of justice, avoid more riots, keep our
nation safe, promote positive behavior, and secure the blessings of debt-free
liberty to ourselves and our great-great-great-grandchildren, hereby try one
more time to ordain and establish some common sense guidelines for the
terminally whiny, guilt ridden, delusional, and other liberal bed-wetters. We
hold these truths to be self evident: that a whole lot of people are confused
by the Bill of Rights and are so dim they require a Bill of NON-Rights."
ARTICLE I: You
do not have the right to
a new car, big screen TV, or any other form of wealth. More power to you
if you can legally acquire them, but no one is guaranteeing anything.
ARTICLE
II: You
do not
have the right to never be offended. This country is based on freedom,
and that means freedom for everyone -- not just you! You may leave the
room, turn the channel, express a different opinion, etc; but the world
is full of idiots, and probably always will be.
ARTICLE
III: You
do not have the right
to be free from harm. If you stick a screwdriver in your eye, learn to
be more careful; do not expect the tool manufacturer to make you and all
your relatives independently wealthy.
ARTICLE
IV: You
do not have the right
to free food and housing. Americans are the most charitable people to be
found, and will gladly help anyone in need, but we are quickly growing
weary of subsidizing generation after generation of professional couch
potatoes who achieve nothing more than the creation of another
generation of professional couch potatoes ...
ARTICLE
V:
You do not have
the right to free health care. That would be nice, but from the looks of
public housing, we're just not interested in public health care.
ARTICLE
VI: You
do not have
the right to physically harm other people. If you kidnap, rape,
intentionally maim, or kill someone, don't be surprised if the rest of
us want to see you fry in the electric chair.
ARTICLE
VII: You
do not have the right
to the possessions of others. If you rob, cheat, or coerce away the
goods or services of other citizens, don't be surprised if the rest of
us get together and lock you away in a place where you still won't have
the right to a big screen color TV or a life of leisure.
ARTICLE
VIII: You
do not have the right
to a job. All of us sure want you to have a job, and will gladly help
you along in hard times, but we expect you to take advantage of the
opportunities of education and vocational training laid before you to
make yourself useful. (AMEN!)
ARTICLE
IX:
You do not have
the right to happiness. Being an American means that you have the right
to PURSUE happiness, which by the way, is a lot easier if you are
unencumbered by an over abundance of idiotic laws created by those of
you who were confused by the Bill of Rights.
ARTICLE
X: This
is an English speaking country. We
don't care where you are from, English is our language. Learn it or go
back to wherever you came from! (Lastly....)
ARTICLE
XI: You
do not have the right to change our country's history or heritage. This
country was founded on the belief in one
true God. And yet, you are given the freedom to believe in any
religion, any faith, or no faith at all; with no fear of
persecution. The phrase IN GOD WE TRUST is part of our heritage and
history, and if you are uncomfortable with it, TOUGH!
If you agree, share this with a friend. No, you don't have to, and
nothing tragic will befall you if you don't. I just think it's about
time common sense is allowed to flourish. Sensible people of the United
States speak out because if you do not, who will?
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