Obama Dreams About the 2016 Democrat Convention
By Dr. Donald W. Hendon
DonaldHendon.com
Obama can’t fall asleep. So he wakes up Michelle and
says, “Tell me some Hillary Clinton jokes. I can’t
stand that woman!
Michelle: OK. Here’s one: During the 2016 Democrat
convention, KFC is going to offer a Hillary meal—two
small breasts and two large thighs.
Barack: That’s pretty accurate. Hey, that reminds
me. She’s looks like she’s getting fatter. She’d
better be careful. If she gains 10 more pounds,
Bill’s going to start hitting on her. And you know
how much she hates Bill!
Michelle: Yeah, especially after Bill said Chelsea
would be a better president than Hillary!
Barack: Hey, I’ve got a Nancy Pelosi joke.
Michelle: Don’t be redundant. Nancy
is
a joke! Hell, with all her face-lifts, she can’t
even blow out the 95 candles on her birthday cake
because her lips no longer move.
Barack: I’m gonna tell it anyway. Pelosi is a great
negotiator. Why? Because the negotiations always
come down to whoever blinks first. And with all her
face-lifts, she can’t even blink.
Michelle: I wonder how she falls asleep.
Obama takes the hint. He has four dreams. His first
one is pretty short: He’s at the 2016 Democrat
convention. He sees Pelosi and a lot of reporters.
So he kisses her on the cheek and thinks to himself,
“This should prove to everybody I’m not a Muslim. No
Muslim would kiss a pig.” At the same time, Pelosi
thinks to herself, “I’ve had so many face-lifts,
this Obama idiot is really kissing my ass.”
His second dream is also at the 2016 convention and
is almost as short. He sees Jesse Jackson, Jr. Obama
says, “Hey Jesse, how come they let you out of
prison so early?”
Jackson: I was in for only two and a half years.
And, believe me, prison life wasn’t that bad. I
faked a mood disorder so I could get a $8,700
monthly disability payment from the government. And
I also get $45,000 a year from my congressional
pension. That’s almost $150,000 a year.
Obama: Why do you look so sad, then?
Jackson: Because I want to make more than my dad—he
makes over a hundred million a year by extorting
businesses.
Obama: What’s his secret?
Jackson: He says his Operation Push will boycott
them unless they hire more blacks, er, I mean
African-Americans. But he’s getting too greedy.
Obama: Why do you say that?
Jackson: He’s now targeting
Ebony
magazine! And some of the cosmetics firms aimed at
black women—Iman, MAC, Queen Collection, and Fashion
Fair.
Obama dreamed about MSNBC’s lesbian newscaster
Rachel Maddow next: Just before Rachel interviews
him, she complained “I had to go to my gynecologist
four times last week.”
Obama: Why?
Rachel: I
kept finding Costa Rica stamps in my vagina.
Obama: That’s weird.
Rachel: Not
that weird. He told me I had nothing to worry
about—those are just Chiquita banana stickers.
Tossing and turning, Obama has his fourth and last
dream of the night. About the 2016 Democrat
convention again. Dirty Harry Reid convinces him to
run again, even though it’s unconstitutional. Dirty
Harry tells him, “Hell, it’s unconstitutional for
somebody who was born outside the USA to become
president—and
you’re president.”
Obama: Yeah, I don’t need no stinkin’ birth
certificate. I’ve got an
earth
certificate!
Dirty Harry: Yeah, but you’ve got an even bigger
problem. We’ve gotta do something about the 60
percent of Americans who don’t believe you’re a
Christian.
Obama: Let’s behead them! Roseanne Barr would like
that. She said “Let’s behead all the bankers or at
least send them to re-education camps.”
Dirty Harry: Roseanne won’t be at the convention.
Remember, she ran against you in 2012 on the Peace
and Freedom Party. I can’t believe she did
that—she’s a fellow Moron—I mean Mormon! Anyway,
here’s part of the schedule for the convention. Tell
me what you think about it.
3:30: Opening flag burning ceremony—sponsored by
MSNBC
4:00: Pledge of allegiance to Obama 1—led by Whoopi
Goldberg
4:15: Reading of the Democrat Platform—cancelled by
Nancy Pelosi. Will be passed without reading.
4:30: Al Sharpton speech—How to have a successful
career without having a job
5:15: Michelle Obama speech—Great vacation I’ve
taken on the taxpayer’s dime
6:00: Pledge of allegiance to Obama 2—led this time
by George Clooney
6:15: Michael Moore speech—Tribute to the brave
freedom fighters incarcerated at GITMO
7:00: Michael Moore film—Obama’s single-handed
capture of Osama Bin Laden
8:00: Eric Holder speech—My commitment to US border
security
8:30: Pledge of allegiance to Obama 3—led this time
by David Letterman
8:45: Debbie Wasserman-Schultz speech—Denunciation
of bitter gun owners and bible readers
9:00: Ceremonial waving of white flag for
Afghanistan and Iraq
9:15: Pledge of allegiance to Obama 4—led this time
by Barbra Streisand
9:30: Obama accepts Oscar, Tony, and Latin Grammy
Awards
10:15: Official nomination of Obama by Bill Maher
and Chris “Thrill Up My Leg” Matthews
11:00: Break for installation of additional
teleprompters
11:15: Obama accepts nomination as Lord and Savior
11:45: Feeding of the delegates with five loaves and
two fishes—Obama presiding
12 midnight: Celestial choirs sing. Food stamps
distributed to all delegates as they leave
12:30: Convention Hall cleared. Clean-up crews
arrive
3:00: Joe Biden delivers his acceptance speech—to
avoid embarrassment
Note to my dear readers: Did Obama approve of the
2016 Democrat convention schedule? Keep reading my
Fractured
Fairy Tales and find out.